Jokes and the like !

a lot of good laughs!

Here some from me:


Three couples - the Jones, the Smiths and the Jacks- have breakfast together.

Mrs. Jones ask her husband: Can you pass the honey, honey?
Mrs. Smith request from her husband: Please hand me the sugar, sugar.
Mrs. Jack says to her husband: Give me the bacon, pig!



A young university graduate applies as an accountant at a small start-up. The job interview goes like this:

Owner: I'm a nervous man, i worry too much about business. Therefore I will hire you so that you worry for me.
Graduate: I can do that.
Owner: Alright, you can start tomorrow. I'll pay you 100,000 USD a year.
Graduate: 100,000 dollar? How can a start-up pay such a salary?
Owner: That's the first thing you have to worry about!




At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."

The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"

good one ! and good that you are using the topic... get some more going.. thanks !


lol... lol.

lmao...

That one was good.

GET OFF MY LAWN

thats fricken hilarous...

your getting my floor wet from tears...

star-Dango wrote:Ukrainian Tomato Garden


An old Ukrainian about 80 years old lived alone in Winnipeg. He wanted to plant
His annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Walter, who used to help him, was in prison in Prince Albert,Saskatchewan.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Walter,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden
This year.. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here
My troubles would be over.

I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Tato
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Tato,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Walter
At 4 a.m. The next morning, RCMP and local Winnipeg police arrived and dug up the entire
Area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Tato,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Walter

Thats frickin great

Q: What is the most horrible word in nuclear physics?
A: oops!!!